You're still here?

Well then you must really be interested in what's going on with us. Right now Des is on her way up to Camp Verde to take care of one of the many legal problems swirling around our lives. Finances have been hard of late. The psycho that is my ex-girlfriend cause a lot of money problems with her thieving ways. I really look forward to the day the courts require her to pay restitution. It'll be nice to get the thousands of dollars she cost us over the course of several months back in one lump sum payment. We'll feel rich!

Soon we'll be off to vacation with my family for a bit, then we'll have a couple weeks to prepare for school. We'll both be taking 12 credit hours this coming semester. She'll be working and I will not because I am a slacker and I believe in taking advantage of the system. I mean, if someone was stupid enough to put a system in place anyway, why not take advantage of it? It'll keep functioning just fine cause that's what systems do, right?

During the vacation we're sending Smokey off to live with a friend of mine who has 2 other cats. The last time we took her over there for a cat play date, she hid behind the T.V. fearfully peeing all over the guy's carpet. I'm very grateful he's welcoming her back into his home. Maybe if she has 2 weeks to adjust she'll be braver than she was when she had 2 hours. For those of you who haven't met Smokey, look at pictures of her instead.

Here she is sleeping on the couch.

And then she tried to sneak off with my sock!

Now she's assessing the camera's threat level.

Certain she's in danger, she coils up hoping to convince her predator that she's a deadly snake so she can rest in peace.

Our weekend

Alan and I had an awesome weekend. On Friday we spent the day sorting cards and checking prices.(Alan is selling cards on E-Bay) And then we played wow. Friday night we had a rain storm. I loved it. There was sense of calmness as the rain pounded on the roof. And there was comfort in standing with Alan on the front porch watching the rain. Anyways, Saturday came and went. We went to a card shop close by and played cards with some friends and before I knew it was Sunday morning. It feels like the summer is flying by. We are so excited about going to Utah and then going to Island Park. I really can't wait because technically it will be the beginning of my summer. I have 2 finals this week and 2 next week and then I will be done until fall classes start. Well I am going to get off the computer and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Thoughts

I wonder how many people out there have no idea that they were either adopted or passed onto another relative. I chose to give my daughter up for adoption because I feel like that is what would be best for her. It is so hard because apart of me wants to hold her and never let go, but then apart of me feels scared that because of the situation I might resent her later and that would not be fair to her. So I chose to not take a chance. I just hope and pray that I am doing the right thing. I can not believe that I am fighting to get her back just to give her away again. I can not believe that I will have to hold her and then put her in someone else's arms again. But I want her to have the best life and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. For so long I felt comfort in thinking that no matter what everything happens for a reason so that no matter what the end result is someone will either learn something or gain something, maybe even both. I still do, I guess that sometimes I just wish I knew the reason things happen the very moment they happen.

Her name is Desiray

You may wonder how a person ends up with a name like Desiray when they could just as easily been named Shontel, or Rip Van Winkle, or even Desiree. Well, I can't tell you. I wasn't part of the naming committee back in '83. What I can tell you is that she likes country music, she likes love songs, and she really, really likes country love songs. She likes romantic comedies and she always says, "Ahh" or "Ooh" and cuddles up close when something romantic happens on the TV. So I find myself watching a lot of romantic things on TV that I wouldn't normally watch just so she'll cuddle in close.

She enjoys playing the World of Warcraft MMORPG with me or alone and the WoW TCG as well. She likes to shop and swim, she loves me, and she's got a great big heart that's kept on ticking throughout the beating it receives from life and loved ones.

You still haven't asked me what I like most about her, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. Her smile and her joy. Now you may think that's two things, but it's in the same sentence and I used singular pronouns to describe it instead of plural, so it's clearly just one thing. She's addictive: when her face lights up with happiness, I want more. I need another fix. I do things like cook breakfast and wash dishes just to see it happen again. I'm strung out on Desiray.

A little bit about Alan

I am not real sure where to start, for the simple fact that he is the most interesting man I have ever met. Alan is a LITTLE BIT funny, smart and kind. He is outgoing and wants everyone around him to have a good time. He loves to play wow online and wow tcg. He is calm and can yell without even saying a word. He is an amazing writer and has a way with words. Sometimes I wish that I could pull up a recliner in his mind and just read all the poetry that he hides. Don't get me wrong, he really isn't a shy guy but he sometimes doesn't express alot of what he feels. At least not with words. He loves to socialize and enjoys kareoke. Alan is the guy every guy should be. He would do anything just to see me smile and for that I am truly grateful.

Hi, welcome to our blog!

It's been a long and arduous journey, I know, but you've finally waded through all the crap out in the world wide web, and now you're here. Congratulations!

That's us, Alan and Desiray, down below visiting tourist attractions in the SLC.

If you're still not quite sure what we look like, check out the picture above:

I think she stands on my right side all the time, but she says she doesn't always stand on that side. To prove it, we're posting the picture underneath these words.

But honestly, even when our positions are determined by a cardboard cutout, she still usually ends up on my right... see?