Thoughts

I wonder how many people out there have no idea that they were either adopted or passed onto another relative. I chose to give my daughter up for adoption because I feel like that is what would be best for her. It is so hard because apart of me wants to hold her and never let go, but then apart of me feels scared that because of the situation I might resent her later and that would not be fair to her. So I chose to not take a chance. I just hope and pray that I am doing the right thing. I can not believe that I am fighting to get her back just to give her away again. I can not believe that I will have to hold her and then put her in someone else's arms again. But I want her to have the best life and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. For so long I felt comfort in thinking that no matter what everything happens for a reason so that no matter what the end result is someone will either learn something or gain something, maybe even both. I still do, I guess that sometimes I just wish I knew the reason things happen the very moment they happen.